It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Yah right when I don't have a headache.
I snap then feel bad.
Lay awake and wish for sleep,then pray the alarm will not go off when I do get to sleep.
I am blessed I will have two weeks off for winter holidays, but all I want is sleep, to read quietly, oh and a chocolate blizzard.
Oh well at least I have Silent Nights right. :)

change needed

I want a change. I don't know where to start. I am near 300 lb so I guess I need to lose some weight. Maybe it will help my pain. I don't think it will make it worse. I need some support. I know almost no one reads this but it is good to put it out there. I need a plan. Well besides applying for the Biggest Loser. I would like some help . I could put this out on facebook but I am chicken.

What now???

I am in limbo.
I am so much better than I was in May -June , but I am still not in a good place. Well lets just say pain is my constant companion.
I hoped the decompression surgery would cure me of all pain and make me normal or near normal again. But I am no where near normal.
It seemed to cure Shalynn, why not me.
I know people say the decompression only helped them a little, and several I read said it made them worse.
So here I sit whining when I should be counting my blessings but I still hurt. Not to mention my hands feel funny at times and I experiencing fatigue and dizziness at times.
I did call this an adventure right.


I love teaching at this time of year though. We are finished with Hanukkah and headed into other Winter Holidays of light. We look at Diwali India's holiday of light. Santa, German Christmas and the tree, St Lucia's day, the christian Christmas, Kwanzaa, and of course new years. Not to mention the gingerbread houses and ornaments we made for presents. Busy but I fun time for learning.

I guess I need to stop and count my blessings and look for joy like My 3 sons said. Well I can always hope Joy will come in the morning. Or maybe I should name my next doggy Joy so I will always have a little joy.

So What Now? Pray first and often.
Then I must adjust my normal to fit my life now and start looking for Joy.
A good plan? Right?

June 16, 2010

Well here I am two weeks into my vacation and still only can tell you I have headaches all the time but my dizzness is better. We saw the Neurosurgeon, Dr. Scurhut, yesterday. He had so many thing for me to do so he could get a better picture and handle on my whole situation. I had to go get my eye checked again well at least another eye test done. I had to make an appointment with an ENT to check on something that showed up in my MRI. Oh and I have to have another MRI because of the poor MRI I had done and he needs to see my spine. Well I have the MRI done today, I go see Dr. Schilling Thursday maybe I will have some answers soon. At least I have John for a couple of days so I can take the good pain killers and not hurt all day Yah!!!