It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Yah right when I don't have a headache.
I snap then feel bad.
Lay awake and wish for sleep,then pray the alarm will not go off when I do get to sleep.
I am blessed I will have two weeks off for winter holidays, but all I want is sleep, to read quietly, oh and a chocolate blizzard.
Oh well at least I have Silent Nights right. :)

change needed

I want a change. I don't know where to start. I am near 300 lb so I guess I need to lose some weight. Maybe it will help my pain. I don't think it will make it worse. I need some support. I know almost no one reads this but it is good to put it out there. I need a plan. Well besides applying for the Biggest Loser. I would like some help . I could put this out on facebook but I am chicken.

What now???

I am in limbo.
I am so much better than I was in May -June , but I am still not in a good place. Well lets just say pain is my constant companion.
I hoped the decompression surgery would cure me of all pain and make me normal or near normal again. But I am no where near normal.
It seemed to cure Shalynn, why not me.
I know people say the decompression only helped them a little, and several I read said it made them worse.
So here I sit whining when I should be counting my blessings but I still hurt. Not to mention my hands feel funny at times and I experiencing fatigue and dizziness at times.
I did call this an adventure right.


I love teaching at this time of year though. We are finished with Hanukkah and headed into other Winter Holidays of light. We look at Diwali India's holiday of light. Santa, German Christmas and the tree, St Lucia's day, the christian Christmas, Kwanzaa, and of course new years. Not to mention the gingerbread houses and ornaments we made for presents. Busy but I fun time for learning.

I guess I need to stop and count my blessings and look for joy like My 3 sons said. Well I can always hope Joy will come in the morning. Or maybe I should name my next doggy Joy so I will always have a little joy.

So What Now? Pray first and often.
Then I must adjust my normal to fit my life now and start looking for Joy.
A good plan? Right?

I am staple free. YAH! Granny counted 42 the other day and I was starting to fell them. Oh well. John had to go back to work today so I got to go to Granny's to be Babysat. We had fun though Jaime and her kids when they came to visit. I even helped cook supper. I am still in pain but I feel so much better.

And the Hits keep coming:
Monday was living between pain meds time at home. Food was still wonderful but the pain at home is just not controlled like at the hospital. I did love seeing my babies all day and Granny is so happy I am home I can live through all this pain.

Tuesday- Pain is a little bit better, but I still seemed to be living between pain pills. I went for a small trip to La fiesta and ate out with my head piece on.

Wednesday- John had to go to work in the morning but we went to Prayer meeting at night. I may have done to much because I hurt at night but it was a good day.

Thursday- Fun Fun Fun I was able to go to Walmart and ride around and see all sorts of things. The pain was there later but I did have fun.

Friday- John was soo good. He took me to Hobby Lobby and Academy. I know he hated the trip but it was fun for me:) I was pleasantly surprised that my pain was less.

Recap of my fun last few days.

Wednesday July 7 was at Hospital at 5:30 for my 8 o'clock Surgery. The Anostigielogist Dr. Gonzalez was so funny. He told me that double Margarita shot would be strong for me being baptist and all. I woke later in ICU that day hurting but John was right there and I had a wonderful nurse that made me feel wonderful.

Thursday July 8 they day flowed from one pain killer time to another. I was kept comfortable and they said I was doing so good I was moved to a Med-Surg Room. The room was nice semi private but behind the Nurses station and Quiet.

Friday July 9 the day was ok I was still on a Liquid Diet and it sucked. That night I woke up at 1ish with a tummy ache I called for the nurses but no one came but I know i had to go and that i could go so I got up. I was ok till i went #2 and the pressure made it feel like fire works going off in your head and all i could do was cry. The Nurses button was behind me so I could not pull it but my roomy call and they finally came to help me. I took a few nurses to get me back to the bed but I was in so much pain I could not help much. They gave me something but I was in so much pain it did nothing. After they thought I had calmed down they came to take my vitals and my BP was off the roof. All they sudden I had the charge nurse in the room trying to get me to talk, people in and out with worried looks and a few minutes later an in house doctor was in talking to me and assessing the situation. I had Morphine in moments and was calming down. My Blood pressure came down and all was right.

Saturday July 10 the PT person came in and had me walking and found me a recliner. I was still watched like a hawk and they seemed to take my vitals so often. I got to watch a good movie and walked. I was still on Liquids but I loved Juice so life was getting better. Granny came to see me Yah!!!!

Sunday July 11 well this day started very early I was up going to the Bathroom at 12ish when the nurse helping me asked if I did not mind moving in next door, they needed a male room and since both she and I were alone it was an easy fix. What could I say I was up and they did need to room so I moved in with a sweet older lady that took a sharp turn on her bike, fell and severely broke her ankle. She was sweet and so was her husband that had been sleeping in the room with her because she was alone. She told me they had never been apart in there 48+ year marriage and he did not want to start now. I walked early, was in pain early for doing to much but at least I was doing better. Sleep is still not fun but napping is blissful. After 10ish the Doctor come in and said I was doing so well I could go home. He also could not believe I was still on liquid. So as speedy as hospital dismissals go I was headed home by 2. John asked if there was anything I really wanted and I said a larger size soda. All they would ever seem to give you at one time in the hospital was those little juices and those little soda so I wanted a bigger one. Gran and Family where so happy to have me home I nibbled on some real food, but really needed a nap so I was ushered to a bed and propped up to sleep 4 hours later I awoke a happy but hungry girl. Granny had veggies and meat loaf for me. Life is good.

Well I am back from Pre teen camp in one piece. Shalynn had a blast that is all that matters.


We say the Doctor on Monday morning, right before camp and we decided to go ahead with the surgery. We scheduled it for July 7th at the Northeast Methodist.

I have been praying a lot and am at Peace with it now because when it come down to it Shalynn said it best. " I am OK God will take care of me and he is always with me." She said this to us right before she went in for her surgery two years ago. I decided how could I be scared when Shalynn fully relied on God during her ordeal. With this realization and decision came this wonderful peace.



Please pray for Granny. She dose not have any peace with almost anything lately and needs the calming hand of God to help her.